04 - Really Horrible Things

[imjustpicky]

Backdated to Saturday, November 12th

[Action - 7132 Brooks Lane, morning]

[Picky had been going out the door to enjoy a nice morning, but then he had found a severed drone head in a box on the doorstep. This was something so far out of his range of comprehension that he had dropped it, screamed at the top of his lungs, and then bolted back inside.]

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

[...and he's still screaming. The horror of it has yet to wear off.]

Key-Fu! KEY-FU!!!

[He was the only real person in here. The only real adult. Surely he could do something.]

[Phone]

[Picky's panic had not quite subsided by the time had made his way to the phone. He was so rattled that he forgot to ask the operator to speak to anyone in particular. He was just blurting.]

Someone put a HEAD in a BOX on our FRONT STEP!!! S-someone k-killed the... they... they put a... a...

That kid asked to play with me! And now he's...!

[He sounds like he's ready to burst into tears.]

Comments

No Problem!

[imjustpicky]

You... got stuck in the closet.

[If his not-dad was a hero, he was perhaps not that great at it. Oof.]

Well... it's okay, now. My... friends came over. We cleaned it up! Though we don't know who did it...

[monk-of-keyfu.livejournal.com]

A most woeful development! Because of my impertinent impounding, the pipes have broken!

[He doesn't seem to be aware of the whole "head in mailbox" business.]

[imjustpicky]

Uh... no, the pipes aren't broken.

[Picky blinks.]

There... there was a severed head in a gift box on our front step. It was gross and scary and I was yelling, and... and...

...uh, there's probably a crazy murderer in the neighborhood.

[He is saying it all with a tired blankness.]

[monk-of-keyfu.livejournal.com]

[Key-Fu clenches a fist and holds it up before himself as if he were about to uppercut something.]

An undertaker of unpleasantness uncorking the unaware?! Most unfortunate!

[If Key-Fu weren't such a goof, this would look like a hot blooded way of swearing vengeance.]

Oh dear. This one got lost in the inbox. D:

[imjustpicky]

Yeah! It's... it's really bad! So you should be careful when you go outside! And... and, maybe, since you're a hero... you can stop him?

[He's hopeful. Oh yes. Key-Fu's weird, but he can probably totally take out the kind of villain that would leave a head in a box.]

No worries!

[monk-of-keyfu.livejournal.com]

I shall do more than stop him, my plucky partridge! I will impound his execrable engine into the pavement of perilous podastry!

[Key-Fu suddenly snaps into a martial arts kata. Does it look more or less absurd with him wearing that plumber's uniform?]

[imjustpicky]

[Picky needs a few extra seconds to process what was said. In the end, all he really got was "impound" and "pavement"... which sounds like a bad guy totally getting beaten up! So good!

He smiles.]

You're the best, Key-Fu...

[Even in a plumber's uniform.]

[monk-of-keyfu.livejournal.com]

[To which Key-Fu thrusts out his hand in a thumbs-up gesture!]

Truly the ways of Key-Fu are the pine freshener of pleasantness!